You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
