We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize