so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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