I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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