As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
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she peed on how many people?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
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High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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