Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize