i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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