you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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