curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
