My hair reeks of homosexuality.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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