went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
