Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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