What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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