Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
