Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
