Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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