...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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