I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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