Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
