just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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