put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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