so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
