i don't like sucking hair
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Alive.
So much puke
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize