soooo we both peed the bed last night...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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