how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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