you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
