took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
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Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
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Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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