she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
