Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
