He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
