i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
