rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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