I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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