my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
