Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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