if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
