and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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