her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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