i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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