Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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