this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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