Define "chronic" masturbator.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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