come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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