Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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