Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
