Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
