Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?