His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
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so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.