How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I will be naked everywhere
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum