'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
time to smoke my breakfast
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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