pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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