But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
