Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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