I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
