then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
