yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
