On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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