I think i sorta joined a cult last night
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think people are normalizing furries
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
