Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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