He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
