Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
