All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
